I’ve done it now! I thought to myself. Sitting in an Asian restaurant and hemmed in on all sides by laughing and chattering Koreans, I knew quite well who the odd duck out was. I was a very intimidated American who couldn’t speak Korean and in fact could barely wield a pair of chopsticks.
But when the boisterous outreach group had swept through the missions office, somehow I was carried with them, around the corner to the nearest Asian restaurant. The Korean chitchat flew over my head. For the most part, I sat looking doubtfully at a pair of chopsticks, wondering whether if I kept putting food in my mouth, would it excuse me from the conversation?
It turned out to be one of the most interesting meals I’ve had in a long time… we had some good laughs as I tried to keep up with the culture. Here are some of the things I learned.
1. Smile and Laugh
All multi-language lunches will have stretches of silence, but this is usually a pleasant pause in conversation… not a condemnation. If you feel that you may have caused a negative silence by something you’ve done – learn to smile and laugh. If you find people are laughing at you, know that they do it out of commiseration – they are trying to make the moment less awkward by laughter.
2. If You Need a Fork… Ask for One.
I remember trying to brave out a lunch with a pair of chopsticks. After looking to make sure no one was watching, I would stab the food with a chopstick and quickly pop it into my mouth.
Once, when I missed my aim, I lost a fish-meat ball under the table. There was a humiliating pause before the host (laughing to defuse the embarrassment) asked a passing waiter for a fork. I learned not to be foolish – I was trying too hard to fit in, and had to learn to be comfortable being the odd duck out.
3. Respect the “Unidentifiable” Food
It is inevitable that in an Asian lunch you will come across a dish that may cause you to recoil. Be it a strange color, texture or ingredient you feel you couldn’t possibly swallow it. In fact, you may not be able to identify the ingredients. Try not to dwell on it –take a small portion and move on. If my Asian little sister can overcome her horror of oatmeal, then I can survive a strange curry with grace.
4. Rice
When in doubt about the food set before you, take plenty of rice. Rice cures hunger and dampens the fires of spicy dishes better than ice water. It is your best defense against the “Unidentifiable” food.
5. Don’t Compare Food
Each culture is fiercely proud of their culinary arts, and will defend their recipes. Even should a humble Korean rice porridge resemble a dish you’ve eaten in Thailand, for heaven’s sake do not say this out loud. Out will come the disarming laughter and there will go your calm and composure.
6. Let go of Personal Space
In Asia, a person will often take food off his plate and share it with the group. You may find food being passed around like playing cards. Let got of the idea that your plate is your territory – use this custom to your advantage by passing on your “unidentifiable” food.
7. Don’t Stop Eating
Once the meal starts, everyone will continue to eat until the host stops or until the food is gone. Whenever I stopped eating in that first fateful lunch, the Korean conversation would screech to a halt. Up and down the table people would look at me in concern. Cries of “Eat, eat!”, “you are too thin!”, “don’t you like the food?” and “Here, have some of my noodles!” rang in my ears until I took up my fork and pressed on.
8. Enjoy the Moment
Know that a multi-cultural lunch is not a timed affair, but a timeless memory. Time is measured differently in Asia…I’ve been to lunches that have lasted over 2 hours long! But with full stomachs and the satisfaction of each other’s company, it will be a long time before anyone moves toward the door. Learn to slow down and enjoy the moment.
When you’ve been invited to a multi-cultural lunch, know that you’ve been invited to share in an art form.
I hope that you enjoy your next adventure, whatever cultures you may find on your plate.
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